Allowing Healing to Happen


Making peace with quietness isn’t easy, quieting my mind takes effort and then after practice it just happens. Surrender isn’t giving up, allowing and letting go isn’t letting others do better. Surrender to allow healing is brave, its real, its realising it is safe to step back and take time to heal.

Heal from what? All the disappointments, heal from a perceived mistake, heal from illness, or just realising what once worked, no longer does.

In my time of quietness I’ve looked to find what I love and how I love to feel, focusing on doing the next right thing in that moment. When I think like this a nap happens or I make a cup of tea or I do a meditation or go to a yoga class.

The last hit workout I did my body acted badly after, I had a high stress response and my muscles went hard like rock for two weeks. No matter how many salt baths I had my body wouldn’t relax. The trainer was excellent but my body and mind perceived huge danger which equaled high stress response. This highlighted to me again, where I am at in this moment of my life.

Extreme Self Care — Self Care — Accepting — Allowing Healing

We all feel off from time to time but sometimes that feeling lingers

I’ve learnt raising our vibrations really helps too, our cells to vibrate like the atoms in our air. Through raising my internal vibrations small changes are coming into my life, even though I’ve stepped back, little by little new experiences have come in.

Have you smelled a rose lately? A real rose, next time you do this, think how you feel afterwards. Have you taken in a deep breath down to your tummy? think how do you feel after…. try doing 3 in a row and breath out your mouth… or do these deep breaths with a real rose in a garden…. then take a walk and think how do you feel?

I love do this…


Fear is Stupid So are Regrets

FullSizeRender (28)




If 90 percent of women are dissatisfied with their bodies, I read this recently. And follow on from my last post, I am sorry it has taken me a while. I’m really learning and living these emotional patterns myself and learning not to live inside them at the same time. Some of the emotional patterns I’m discovering really, hit me hard like a kick in the tummy.

I’m reminded a lot because I want to feel different and experience different results in my life, I need to think and feel different most moments. What I mean be this is, feeling easy and lighty happy I need to work for, there is a lack of living with ease in my skin. Messages like eat less, exercise more = happiness, does not work for me. Yet I believed in this type of messaging from the external world. To further add the toxicity of my internal lack, the practices to achieving a “healthy body” is counter-intuitive developing my true body, mind and emotional health.

Exercising in front of a mirror, with strangers around me, sweating, going bright pink/red and having a trainer shout at me to get moving. Is emotionally more of a deep calling of my internal strength because very negative voice in my being. Is screaming loudly in my head as I look myself in the eyes and keep going. That’s why I know believe, women aren’t lazy who don’t exercise. It’s a internal emotional muscle that needs to be changed and developed.

Any added thinking stress = no body changes = no new results = not hitting personal goals

Regardless of how healthy you are eating, or how much you exercise, if your mind is chronically stressed, you will burn calories, assimilate nutrients and digest food at an extremely reduced rate.  

Boom this is one thing I’ve really learnt this year, dam….. so a question I have asked you all many time this year. What makes you feel happy? What makes you feel alive?


*I found this picture, I don’t know who the owner is. Do tell tell me if you know, Many thanks.

If blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter




If blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.  This quote I found it had no reference to who wrote this.


When I was studying last year at IIN we covered nourishment being our whole life.

Happiness and how happy we are day to day with the everyday stuff, that repeats, that is mundane day to day living. Once we dug into this topic, I knew deep down this was missing from my life. And that I was living more in a silent paralysed fear that was deep within me and had been there for a long time.

After much digging and yoga classes, sitting in silence my core internal beliefs started to popp up! and I didn’t like what I was discovering about myself…..

With extra tummy weight hanging onto me, I had to look beyond my food choices!  And ask myself ‘why’ was my body holding on? And what is my body trying to tell me? It was getting my attention by not changing, what do I need to do? Am I willing to feel my way through this to heal? To become happy….

I struggled to accept what I was discovering about myself!

Feeling trapped, stuck, not heard and my body wasn’t reflecting the way I eat, but was reflecting what I was thinking and feeling!

Having also avoiding regular exercise other than walking or yoga. Deep breathing and breathing properly I needed to get through these discoveries about myself.

Then I learnt when I exercise and breathing fully my fears, emotional blocks and my core beliefs show themselves and I cry!…  And I don’t always know why.

I now believe some women avoid exercise not because they are lazy but because of the emotional blocks that pop up!

Learning how to allow your candle to shine bright! Is what I’ve been learning this year for myself, now I’m going to share. 

Melting into Life …. Allowing … Growing

Beautiful Chamomile Tea
Beautiful Chamomile Tea








I never thought I’d love chamomile tea
I never thought I’d embrace Self Love
I never thought I’d start to develop an understanding of Deep Love for my yoga practice

Allowing a journey to be the journey from my head to my heart with all my mistakes on the way. Hasn’t stopped me I now understand what was a nightmare, really brought me closer to my road on my journey.

I use to feel the need to apologise for who I am, let others think I’m eccentric in my ways(I’m so not)

I really had and am craving simplicity in all areas of my life so I feel free to be myself. No running from myself no more, no doing endlessly but stay right with me emotionally and allowing.

I’ve learnt my depths of me have show me, I have more of a craving for my purpose and fulfillment. And discovering what that is, rather than meeting all the external expectations I feel. I feel now much more, woman’s natural capacity to love, to give, to nurture, to be playfully sensual is one of the most precious gifts that life has brought us to this planet and yet, to find a woman who wholeheartedly supports love, supports living life with all her passions and happiness rare.

So I ask you all again, What makes to happy?
What makes me happy is fresh vegetables, home cooking, excise, yoga, transformation breathing, being at home, spending equality time with the humans in my life and writing and planning for my blog. Melting into my life…

A Moment I want to Share with you All

In haste as just on the move. Life is amazing.

And then it’s awful, And then it’s amazing again.

And in between the amazing and the awful, it’s ordinary and mundane and routine.

Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful and relax an exhale during the ordinary.

That’s just living heartbreaking, soulhealing, amazing, awful ordinary life.

And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

– L. R. Knost

This poem was read at a turning point for me and my person energy at the retreat I was just on. I wanted to share it with you all. I believe in nourishing, moving moments that are fulled with momentum. Breath fulled sensations of your and mines glowing beauty as we be……..





Inspiration Space

the breathing hub

Hello Hello!

It’s been awhile, I’ve been on a yoga retreat, a holiday and resting. Looking into space wherever I have been sitting. Feeling and allowing to feel my more difficult emotions, rather than filling myself up on stuff I don’t need.

It’s interesting what comes up out of the bottom of my belly, when I stop, breath, eat lots of vegetables and do many things I enjoy. I talking about releasing emotions that become stuffed down inside me. A ‘clenching’ or inner ‘gasping’ that knot feeling inside the core of me.

This inner ‘gasping’ I believe blocks all the new experiences, following into my life. If my soul or energy followed like a river, there will be ups and downs but the follow won’t stop.

Self love, self care, an inner knowing that is my next right step. Can be revealed if I stay open to the follow of life. Even during knowing or painful times, of not know what the outcome will be.

In my retreat, I met my feelings and surrendered to the deep irritated gasping in my belly. I let go because I had too. The repetitive thoughts mixed with the feelings and know I wasn’t free in my own mind. On one of the retreat days, the yoga teacher forgot about the time, I was in the corner of the room. With no easy way out of the room, 4 hours later I’d worked through all my resistance and surrendered.

Doing yoga, which means ‘union’ between mind and body is the most liberating gift I have given myself. It’s become things, so I think about what I want in my life.

This isn’t always easy but it is the most rewarding….. knowing the universe has my back..
This is what I worked through…… in my quiet time…… now my mind is quiet ….

I run my own race in my life, I have no desire to play games

At Barre Core in Kensington
At Barre Core





I’m in competition with no one! I run my own race in my life, I have no desire to play games. I don’t care about appearing better than anyone else.

My aim is to improve one step at a time, doing the next right thing for me. One moment at a time. Being present in my moments in my life..

If I want to time travel, I read an amazing book and allow me to be taken into their world.

I have learnt if you want to stop time, find someone you fancy and kiss. Kiss for hours and it will feel like time has stopped.

I have learnt to be mentally present exercise, try a core workout. At a high intensity this deep pain drives my thoughts out of my mind into my body. Then I’m present in the moment.

I’ve just finished a 14 workouts in 14 days challenge, set by me, with me to me. On day 13 and on my 13th workout. My pity party started, I didn’t want to finish and I wanted to give up. My body was in pain and that is all I could think of, for me it isn’t about the beginning. It is always about the end to complete. I learnt the gold is in the completion, thats where self esteem is built and trust in oneself. With unexplainable pride in simply knowing, I did it.

Emotional patterns embedded in me will bring all my personal goals to an early end. Till I learned to stop the pain patterns, with silence has brought my solutions. With openness and understanding has diminished anger. With compassion and kindness has brought, no need to find fault.

Stopping my excuses with intense workouts, has meant I don’t settle and I feel deeper. This means I’m more present in the moment to give to myself and others. Self love is my tool for the future, love is the tool I use to build my life.

So I’m in competition with no one, I aim to be better than I was before. That’s me and I’m free.

Describes a moment in time when we move forward without a doubt

‘The word congruence comes to mind, this describes a moment in time when we move forward without a doubt. All our senses are focused in the direction we are headed. Nothing can stop us’ has been in my mind. As I have been unwell again. Focusing on my ‘intention’ for myself is key

Being in fear and not feeling good enough to enjoy life was my natural state. Waiting for the perfect moment to be me and to feel great on another day. Congruence is in my mind, knowing in most moments where I want to go and how I want to feel.

Knowing the ‘Why’ living with ‘intention’ rather than a goal.

Being tired and wired doesn’t help, being consumed with your work inbox and deadlines. Comparing ourselves with other peoples outsides needs to stop.

I feel the difference when my intentions are clear, I want to add one healthy actions or foods into my day. These healthy or positive actions become effortless, please give this a try. Just add one positive action for yourself.

Barry’s Bootcamp the word Congruence Comes to Mind…….

You all know I started going to Barry’s at the end of December 2014. I Love Barry’s so much, I can totally tell you why too. In fact I’m bursting too.

I have never been a gym person and I have tried a few different ones and I could see what was appealing. About the horrible smell, bored looking staff,  the hair balls and dust on the floor, for the financial investment. Just didn’t do anything for me. I was watching the Kasdashian’s and saw the girls at Barry’s in LA. Then I saw Barry’s was in London by going past on the bus. When I walked in, the beautiful smell had me completely engaged, I was mentally present and alert. The receptionist smiled and was happy to explain what I was about to do next, I felt so welcome but nervous I knew I was going to be worked.

I remember my first work out so clearly and my others since, the trainers, the trainers are the best of the best. Not only did they work me physically but emotionally they touched me too.

When a trainer is so energised and alert, shouts at you, ‘look in the mirror, ask yourself, what do you want’? Look at yourself now! Go there now! I was so tearful but I wanted to run my way into the dress size I crave. And I wanted to do it for me.

Yes, the workout is full on and the female trainers are equally as strong as the male trainers. They all bring their own individual style to the workout, I always feel welcome and like they care. I told Fasial one of the trainer, when I felt scared of a heavier weight. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me I had nothing to worry about. Smiled and made me feel comfortable to push myself.

Yes by the time I leave, I can’t feel my legs and the next day too. I have started sleeping better too since going. Also Barry’s is clean, no dust, no hair balls, smells amazing. All the staff are lovely from the cleaners, reception to the Fuel Bar and the other bootcampers. I have met some great people there.

When one of the trainers said, ‘it never gets easier you just, you get better at it’! Their honestly and realness gets me every time and I want more, more Barry’s. I want to hear, ok bootcampers here we go!

It is worth my time, the cost and the results come too. The emotional connection has been a surprise to me. One thing I have learnt is, I have stayed comfortable in my thinking other women can have an amazing body. Barry’s work out makes me be fully present and I have realised a lot of emotional blocks, while a trainer shouts. ‘How much can you give’?

The word congruence comes to mind, this describes a moment in time when we move forward without a doubt. All our senses are focused in the direction we are headed. Nothing can stop us, this is the Barry’s experience.

Thanks to the awesome trainers and staff.
I feel strong, feminine and challenged to be a better Rebecca very time. What makes you feel awesome?

A Thought Over Tea

At L'Orchidee Cafe Drinking Cherry Rose Green Tea over ice

At L’Orchidee Cafe Drinking Cherry Rose Green Tea over ice

As most of you know I love going to farmer’s markets, then I asked myself why? On Saturday I have asked myself this a number of times. I felt I needed to ask myself again.

Curious in a paradox of thought with my TV full of how to cook shows or baking at home shows. I had been at the supermarket earlier, there was so many people in front of the pre prepared food selves. Rather than cooking their meal from the start.

The first evening meal I learnt to cook was a vegetable stir fry, which I could create in 20 minutes or less for my Mother, brother and I. Some of the veg was from our garden and the other from the supermarket, with meat or fish and potatoes.

In London most restaurants are full most nights in the week or at lunch time,  with ready meals and takeaways.

My question became, do we come home to watch on TV, to learn how to share with others? from these cooking shows? or are we sitting learning how to cook? This trend of cooking shows with the paradox of reality TV programs, showing people who can’t cook.

I realised there are more people watching how to cook on TV sitting down. Rather than going into their kitchen and cooking a meal from the beginning of 30 minutes.

Do you remember what is your favorite home made dinner?