I’ve Learnt from My Stillness

Do you experience those fluttering feelings of fear in your belly?

How does it feel to say your name and not add your job tile or make a reference to your relationship status…

Who are you when you’re not trying to be someone? How does this feel?
If you can be your own definition of amazing? How does this feel?

Can you go 30 minutes or an hour not looking at your phone? How does this feel?
Control of outcomes in our outside lives is fantasy and imagination running wild inside the monkey mind of thoughts..

I’ve learnt and now believe we are here not to relive our hurts over and over again on repeat and rewind ….. we are here to learn to heal from our hurts and life lessons… our emotions are guide to new steps and path ways to creating a different future. Rather than using the same thinking for the same feelings recreating the same result. This is the recipe for more of the same stress the same unhappiness and staying in the same place…

Finding balance with no guilt with our choices helps balance feeling fears, scared and stuck. Feeling acceptance of our emotions meet them with kindness and compassion, so illness doesn’t kick in…. internal patterns learnt from childhood if you weren’t allowed to be yourself on any level. Some of us learnt to get sick to help us get what we need… this is also a survival technique a deep emotional survival technique from the people that Love us..
How’s your gut feeling? Are you feeling down? Or flat…
If you aren’t enjoying what you do… don’t do it..

I’ve learnt Balance is

To dance all night and go to your favourite workout or walk outside
Drink your favourite tipple and drink water a green smoothi or green juice
Eat chocolate (maybe learnt to make your own) and eat kale salads warm when your body needs it and other vegetables that take your fancy….
Wear high heels when you want extra sexiness and walk bare foot when you’re chilling (hopefully on grass)
Move around and so you can find your stillness
Embrace all sides of who you are – what do you enjoy? What brings you happiness?
When you feel high from happiness be brave when you feel low but allow and know it will pass and ask yourself what is this low feeling trying to show me…?

Breath feel – let go — do the next right thing – find a willingness to welcome in a new chapter


This Kiwi has Needed Help…….

My Choices + I've Needed Help
My Choices + I’ve Needed Help








So this kiwi has needed help with most parts of my life. I’m still working through this time, I love structure and I worked hard for my role (can you hear me not letting go)but I love and felt the structure is what I’ve needed.

I’ve taken a big step back in my life there is no date nights, no partying, no pushing to achieve more, do more. No push to be promoted, no hit workouts, it has been time for inner work and time to pull back. Then I started being treated for post traumatic stress disorder, I needed to make peace with the nothingness.

I started to feel okay with this feeling of oh Sh*t…. oh here is the route of my low energy, blackouts and other things in my life, I felt I had no way of managing. They where in charge of me..

With social media being how people live and show their life’s, I’ve learnt it’s how we perceive those pictures or messages based on our own life experience.

Then I read, I am not what, you think I am. You are what you think I am.

I am going to share what has worked for me to move forward, I hope there are bits you may like to try… small steps forward, small changes = new happiness
No forcing, if change was easy habits would disappear 🙂

Me Broken Me but Okay

My personal beliefs are stronger than ever towards responsible health and well-being.

It is up to me what I think, eat, drink and feel a life on rewind and repeat isn’t for me. If it’s true we carry 7 generations of stuff with us in one lifetime.

It’s not what we do sometimes that affects our bodies negatively it’s the daily actions we do. Like overeating is okay to do sometimes but if it becomes a habit daily. Day after day then the digestive system becomes slower and slower, we may not sleep as well and pooing may become slower too. And a tiredness sets in slowly and this tiredness starts to feel normal till one day, one year, in one moment we realise this isn’t normal to feel so tired.

During my time of not feeling well and trying to work out ‘why’, my focus has been my food, what I drink and how I think and how I feel. I’ve been learning transformational breathing, which is a connected breath and exploring my feelings.

To breath means to take in life.

I needed to ask myself what am I scared of? And are these things real or learnt.

Salt water, Sweat and Tears supper healing as I live in London, I buy salt and bath in it. I sweat doing an exercise I love and I cry if I feel I need to.

My fierce love for vegetables and as clean water as I can find is my priority.

My perception of my conditioning has changed and this has been empowering beyond words.

My perception change mixed with the support I have as help me to thrive in challenge, pain and heartbreak.

It takes courage to relax. To soften. To open.

It’s much easier too be tense and tight and closed and wound-up. It’s all-too-easy to be on rewind and repeat the life we don’t want and just keep going, going, going until we get so exhausted that we finally collapse. And when we feel utterly exhausted and no new path is brightly lit up for us to step onto without fears.

It’s even easier to conveniently gloss over the feelings from our hearts or our authentic feelings because our natural state of tension seems normal.. its not ….

It is relaxation. It is openness. It is softness. It is allowing.

I’m I healthy enough? I was I am now trying….

My first Bone Broth making at home
My first Bone Broth making at home









I’m I healthy enough? Have I done enough healthy actions? Is this choice healthy?

I woke at at 5:00 am to fit in oil pulling, writing, meditation, dry body brushing & shower and breakfast. Is this enough, oh my green salad at lunch or my greens at dinner, oh raw chocolate…. Bath time with epsom salts, baking soda and essential oils.

I’m I glowing? Do I look healthy? I’m I being healthy enough? Do I feel guilty for not putting enough effort into being healthy? How many hundreds of times has these questions run through your/my mind?

And obsessive thought is an obsessive thought no matter what is being repeated in one’s mind. Which is not helpful.

“I’ve learnt we must show up into our own life. Be brave, be strong and be love. To embrace the mess and trust yourself to find the way through.”

Above is fear based thinking I’ve learnt, everything new I learnt become my new must do. Now I think and feel if something may be right for me because it important for my gut feeling to guide me. Meditation or having quiet time gives time for a right answer to come through.


Learning to nourish myself and learning how to have quiet time daily has brought a lot of quality into my life.

I was a vegetarian then a vegan/raw foodie and now I eat lots of plants and greens and I drink bone broth. Because this feels right for me now to drink bone broth after over 20 years of being a non meat eater or meat juice drinker.

I was always doing jobs, work at home and my paid jobs and cooking, cleaning, shopping for the cooking. Doing jobs for friends and flavors now I’ve learnt to slow down a lot. And this has opened up time for wondering and allowing my mind to wonder with peace inside of quietness.

Letting go and allowing has revealed for me, it’s time too.

Make Bone Broth to heal my gut and nourish my inner body

Green smoothies low in fruit work better for my hormones

Quiet time helps my writing to focus and be mentally present with my friends

Quiet times helps me feel the tension(fears) I hold in my body and release them

Breathing fully helps me allow others to be themselves
This is what works for me, what works for you?

I’ve learnt when a person is aware of their intuitive sensitivity and they know how to work with it, it becomes enriching very powerful and comfortable to live and thrive in.

Easter and Sugar

In all these years of me giving up sugar and thinking cravings were  just going to stop.

With sugar being a hot topic everywhere and with the sugar tax coming. Cravings and desiring treats doesn’t stop just because ….. Just because whatever the reason.

I never knew years ago my ‘giving up’ sugar was a journey to know me.

I never knew cravings had feelings underneath them, with a few locked in emotions too. And then there are layers, on layers with cravings and feelings. And wanting just wanting.

I feel I know sugar cravings better than I know most of my feelings.

With Easter coming I want to talk about transition recipes, I’ve learnt to make my own chocolate, cakes and treats. I’m going to share some transition recipes with you all.


I think and feel strongly if you experience cravings and if they are for sweet foods, they don’t just go away. I think the obsessive thoughts and feelings of guilt are worse than the food.
So don’t worry please let go if you are ready for a change? And try one of my recipes that will come this week on my blog. And try to take it easy, most of us will be eating chocolate.  

Sipping on Chamomile





I’m just sipping on Chamomile for many reasons, to help me let go and to help my body heal as well as sleep well.

Throughout the Middle Ages it was recorded that people used chamomile flowers as a remedy for problems like fevers, asthma, nausea, inflammation, skin diseases.

Their calming and anti-inflammatory properties make them a mothers must have. The daisy-like flowers contain natural healing oils and flavonoids that reduce stress internally and externally.

You can buy chamomile as dried flower heads tea infusions bathing in it as well as drinking. If you’re look for something to relieve eczema chamomile may certainly help.

A beautiful quote to share with you all: What is really hard and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. By Anna Quindlen

On Reflection 2014

Letting go

If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace.” Ajahn Chah

Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.


Letting go of what is not meant to be ……… and the idea of the dream in one’s mind ….. then seeing what is in front of us and accepting what is meant to be and doing the next right thing, even if it is having a little cry and a cup of tea. Sitting in silence or going for a walk or run or finding an understanding friend who will listen……

…… with tiny bits of inner joy until the pain has gone ……and happiness has resumed …….

In these moments I forget what makes me happy and gives me joy, also it is even harder to make a loving food to nourish my body with. Instead replaying my mistake over and over again in my head, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape my actions in the present moment takes over.
It may sound simple, Ajahn Chah’s quote is true for me to let go of what hasn’t happened in 2014 and focus on a healthy Christmas with beautiful food and a few treats and fun.  This is what I will be doing to shake these feelings off:

    1. Think of something new to learn next year
    2. Doing yoga and meditation and walking – building my transformational breathing practice
    3. Changing my perception to see the root cause as a blessing in disguise and accept the lesson. Asking myself do I want to feel like this again? Would could I do differently, when I start to feel that same feeling again? To hopefully stop this repeating pattern.
    4. Allowing myself to fully feel a painful emotions before I can, let go of emotional feeling.
    5. Small bites of acceptance with one positive action at a time like, completing a small task increases my sense of control and decreases the stress level. Tasks I want to archive in my life with little rewards. For me these can be a facial or doing some transformational breathing or learning a new recipe.
    6. Making a list of the things I have done that make me happy.
    7. Clean floors really shiny I love to at home.

Knowing there will always be time to practice accepting that all of this and every moment is a chance to let go and feel peaceful. Practice with these steps, they really work for me and I hope you may want to give them a try?


Disclaimer: I respect and support the creative minds behind each image, so every known author/artist will always be published. If however an image has no original source sited, it is only because it was either sent to me or went viral online. If you are the source or you know the source for any of the above, please leave a comment below and I’ll link your creation back to you!